Morning in the 'Forbidden City'

This is what you get if you wake up early,



I read somewhere that a good photography habit or practice is to "rise early and linger late".. I had to wake up early for an exam only to find the roofs all shrouded in mist.. a beautiful sight indeed and I had to catch it before the sun got any higher in the sky.



These roofs remind me of the roofs of the thousands of rooms in the forbidden city.. except these are far from imperial yellow or golden in colour

Useless Lemons

What good is a lemon that's not sour....

Taking it to the finish line

Firstly i want to announce that "major fighting" has concluded.. ok i mean the exams have almost ended, there are some "cleaning up" operations left, i.e. One more paper next week followed by a presentation of my report, which will conclude my education in university (if nothing should go wrong.. and i hope not).

I'm supposed to be elated.. haha but right now i am too tired for that, only a sense of relief.. what have i learnt in NTU? besides the fact that it's hellish? here's a list of a few lessons learnt... (with regards to studying and exams)

1) Don't judge a book by it's cover
Don't assume that ah beng-ish people are slackers and don't know thier shit, in fact some of them are so smart they can afford to slack off -> hence making them look very easy going and ah beng-ish. Some nerdy people work so hard and acheive half the A's these people get. Most of the time these people earn the title of 'Professor'. What I'm saying is, don't look down on other people or judge them by thier looks, you might need thier help one day.

2) Study with friends
I don't know about YOU but I can't do it alone. Mainly because I am not a fucking genius. So study and discuss.. and SHARE. which brings me to another point; "don't be selfish" Many students are kiasu and keep resources to themselves, chances are you will also get back something in return (in terms of expertise and advice) if you share.

3) Keep your shit together
Priority is the word here, there are no shortcuts when it comes to revision, it takes SHEER HARD WORK. You gotta know what to put FIRST on the to do list. But if you want to slack off, go ahead, just know when to start working and what to do to get back on track.

4) Beware the Snowball
This is more of a comment than an advice; One part of the system i don't like, students who fail subjects need to retake them (unlike in Poly, there's no second chance of a retest). In the first place, if someone fails a subject, I would gather that he/she isn't coping very well with the normal load -DUH. But these subjects are added on to the load of this poor student next semester. If, you're facing problems under normal loading, you are going to get crushed by a snowball of subjects if you let them accumulate... so extra effort must be put in during the next semester -> see point #3 on the importance of keeping your shit together

5) Take a Break
Have a break, have a kit kat. But don't smoke la.. wtf.. you think it looks Kool? YES it does, I agree.. It looks damn cool with a stick in between your fingers and puffing smoke like a dragon. But it dont look so Kool when they cut open ur lungs on the autopsy table. But then again if PWD runs out of TAR.. we know where to look.

6) It's not as bad as it seems
This is a tricky one, exams here are supposedly moderated.. i.e. You should be worried about the outcome if everyone is happy with the paper because the passing mark would be raised. So a minor mistake could be costly. And if everyone finds the paper a bitch... you can be sure that u r quite safe. If you find the paper a Bitch, and no one else does.. you're fucked.

7) Enjoy the journey
This applies to everything in life and not just to exams and school: Don't rush off to the end point, slow down, breathe and take in the sights along the way.

Many people do not realise that life is about the music you hear, the friends you make, the colours that take you away, the food you taste (Singaporeans can identify with this very well), the sights and the smells. Its not about material gains and possessions, its not about grades and certificates and it certainly is not about the destination. We all basically have the same final destination, where we go after this life is left to a timeless debate between different cultures, but our existence in this form usually ends with us being in a hole in the ground, a niche in a wall or scattered 10,000 ft from a plane or onto the sea. If you are into more unusual approach, you might want to have your remains ripped apart by himalayan vultures in a Tibetan sky burial. By then it will be too late to look back and say that i should have and could have...


This is about all i can think about, anymore to add?

The Smelly Boys & The Puke flavoured toothpaste

The smelly boys from a faraway land
(I'll leave it to you to guess where)

Bring the stink to an otherwise spotless

And... i must say, well maintained Loo.

It amazes me how its done, for

A pungent mix of puke and pee go where ever they go

Perhaps i have mistaken? NO!... this bloodhound you can't fool

I reckon it's what they brush thier teeth with, with that awful pukey Goo....

I reckon that they've been pissing in thier rooms for the smell to be that toxic

A smell that kills the roaches in two blinks of an eye

I pity thier neighbours, for suffer they do

And I'm thankful for living a little way off

Just outside the KILLZONE and FAR away from the Loo.

Signs of Selfishness

so.. err...Do we run down the other kids?




I snapped this on campus at a playground at the staff apartments. Its the STUPIDEST design for a playground. The playground is an 'island' surrounded by a driveway... wtf.... i guess the designer must have been thinking.."oh well.. kids nowadays are so well behaved, i suppose they wont dash across the road unexpectedly..."

That aside, what stuck me most was the sign.. 'YOUR' CHILDREN... Doesen't it play on the selfish behavior of human beings? Because it's your kids, you have to take special care.. forget the others.. i dont care....

Tennis Porn

Watching a tennis game is like watching a kung-fu porn flick.

Let me explain why, i turned on the tv and there where two Russian women players in a singles game. One player (the chio-er 'prettier' one) hits the ball and lets out a "WOOooo-PAH!" and the other one returns the serve with a "Uuuuhhhh" moan (imagine the dirtiest, whiniest moan)..

so the game goes like this,

Ref: service over!
#1: "WOOO-PAH"
#2: "UUuuuhhhh"
#1: "WOOOooo-PAH!"
#2: "Uhhh-huh"
#1: "WOOOOOOO-PAH!!"
#2: "uuuuuhhhhh"

i turn off the tv

The Destruction of My New Neighbour

My neighbour is no more.. unfortunately,

When i came back to my room on sunday night, the Hole... to my astonishment, was sealed up with mud. As if something was growing in there..

The next morning, this was what i saw.. the pod was open. On closer inspection, you can see some black round things, Seeds? eggs? i don't know....





Just then, the owner came back... some thin winged insect with yellow and black legs.

I've seen it busy at work, however, since the pod was open i didn't expect it to come back because i thought the the pod had served its purpose to hatch her eggs or something...

But then again how can eggs be laid and hatched in one day and night? too short a time...

After the insect flew off, my roomie swung into action to reclaim his New Balance shoe.

Armed with a wooden stick, he rushed it to the toilet before "the fly" came back.



The contents of my neighbour's home shocked us all.

What appeared was a couple of dead spiders... You can see one clearly in the foreground of the upper photo.

Another multi legged creature lay dead, all curled up inside.. My neighbour was a serial killer!

I think this mud pod could have been used to store the bodies for later consumption and perhaps be used to feed it's young.



That done, we returned to our room feeling ashamed that we would have to face our neighbour whose home we just destroyed.

So we closed our door, but later she came back... flying around frantically, looking confused and angry. Did she suspect us?

My New Neighbour

someone's been building his home on my room mate's shoe..

Fucking Lizards

Do Lizards mate?

I came a cross a pair of the usual "house lizards" on my way to the showers, at first glance it looked like they were squabbling cos they were making this 'cheee cheee cheee' sounds and they were biting at each others' tails.. and all this was happening on the wall mind you. Yes a vertical wall. I was hoping that they would fall off and i'd have a good laugh.. just like two weeks ago, i looked up at the ceiling while taking a shit..my my.. it was World Wrestling Entertainment Lizards world title match up.. in the midst of thier fight, gravity got the better of them and they both plummeted into the next cubicle.. spectacular.

Back to this couple, after a bit of noise and resistance. The fighting lizards appeared to have something else on thier agenda. To my astonishment, the larger lizard appeared to be trying to mount the other from behind as the smaller one tried to crawl away... she didn't make it far and it was just a matter of seconds before 'he' was on top of 'her' (i'm pressuming that they are heterosexual). The noises ceased and they remained on top of each other, motionless...

Suddenly feeling like an voyeur, I decided to leave the tender moment alone...

(i might need a reptile expert to clarify that what i had just witnessed was mating)

Spare a thought

On my way to school yesterday, I was having lunch at my local hawker centre. The usual fare; chicken rice with extra gizzard, a Singapore favourite. Out of the blue, an old lady approached my table just as i was halfway through my oily rice and white chicken skin. She waved her shaky index finger at me.. making a 'one', it even looked like she was giving me a lecture, going "orrrr.. you naughty boy!" I quickly realised that her other hand was holding on to a packet of tissues. Ah, its the ubiquitous elderly tissue seller with a plastic bag of packet tissues hung on one arm that ply the markets and coffee shops. Sometimes they come without eyes, guided by an able guardian, sometimes they come without a limb and a majority of them are old folk trying to eke out some money for thier next meal.

I remember an incident last year that will always 'haunt' me in a little way, I turned away an elderly tissue seller at lunch, after which i felt a horrible sense of guilt for a long while. After all it was just a dollar, why didnt i find it in my heart at that instant to spare a dollar for that old lady? Perhaps i was telling myself that i couldnt help everyone who came to my table? Well the bottomline is, it was only a dollar and i couldnt live with my excuses.

This old lady was frail, her face weathered, wrinkled and dark . She couldnt form her words properly which was why she gestured at me. I gave her two bucks and I pushed back two of the five packets she gave to me, saying that i didn't need so many. She looked at me and with her rubber like mouth with much difficulty, yelped out a "kum sia" (Thank you in hokkien). I didnt know what to say, all i could say was 'it's okay'. She put her hand in her bag, took out another two packets to make five and walked off with her small frial steps to the next table.

If I was an old man and had it my way, I would be sitting in my rocking chair in front of the telly watching re-runs of channel 8 drama serials from the 80s while my grandchildren play with thier lego sets and toy cars in the living room. Not everyone is so lucky and I don't think it would hurt to spare a thought for them, just a little one.

I'm just glad i didn't turn her away this time.

Some entries from Urban Dictionary

(today's post is brought to u by the letter E!)

1. ego-fart

Flatulence forced from one's body in a pompous, self-satisfying manner, without regard to the consideration of others.

Although his friends quickly rolled down the car windows, Shane was so full of himself, he took a big, proud whiff of his smelly ego-fart.

Source: Josh Dingus, Dec 2, 2004

2. Ear Fuck

When a chick won't blow you

I think she wanted an ear fuck. I tried to stick in in her mouth and she turned her head really quick

Source:Spike, Jan 6, 2005

3. Emo

Punk music on estrogen. Often acoustic guitar with soft, high male vocals that dwell exessively on the singer's feelings, especially melancholy remembrances of past relationships/mistakes in life. A form of music that diverged from punk in the '80s, the name "emo" is derived from the emotive style of the lyrics and music. This genre has lately been marketed heavily by the music industry to teenagers with bands such as Dashboard Confessional and Taking Back Sunday, and has seen much commercial and mainstream success. The music has also spawned a subculture which conforms to certain conventions in dress such as tight sweatshirts, tight band T-shirts and horn-rim glasses. Adherents profess to exessively melancholy temperments. Males that adhere to the emo subculture are sometimes confused with metrosexuals; indeed the line between the two is somwhat blurred, though both groups claim to be intouch with their emotional side. The ephemeral and hackneyed nature of emo songwriting suggests that its audience will be restricted largely to teenagers. the genre suffers from a lack of credibility outside the aforementioned demographic group, much like current Nu Metal bands.

girlfriend: C'mon, lets have sex.
boyfriend: I'm too sad to have sex.
girlfriend: I'm sad too; lets have sex and cry.
boyfriend: I'm already crying.

Source: Pureblarney, Jul 30, 2004

Sanitarium

LOOK what i found outside Tutorial Room 97...


some stressed out fookers

Sanitarium, Definition : NOUN: 1.) An institution for the treatment of chronic diseases or for medically supervised recuperation. 2.) A resort for improvement or maintenance of health, especially for convalescents.

My apologies for the loss of focus as i was using a Handphone camera.. i also didnt want to stay too long outside the room, for fear that the patient in the ward would go berserk on me

Best Ass Forward!

Being the eve of the exams i would like to wish you all the very best. I have intended (without responsibility) for the following image to be used to rest your weary eyes.. O_O stare for 5 to 15 minutes while taking long deep breaths.

Ten things i wanna do after the exams

(in no particular order)

1) "Paint the town red"-cliche, but this includes clubbing, drinking at bars, ktv and movies (also includes going to the beach to bask in the sun)

2) Continue singing with the choir.. therapeutic

3) Hang out with some people whom i havent been seeing in sometime, including my hall15 mates, Army mates, the Beasts

4) Watch cable TV for hours on end, esp. CSI and discovery/Nat'l Geographic

5) Exercise, im already three months pregnant.. by the time the exams are over in three weeks i will be six months pregnant.

6) Planning to go photo taking at the following locations: Kranji War Memorial, Bright hill Buddhist temple, National Day parade festivities, please suggest some more locations for me...

7) Finance a Zen Micro MP3 player... i-pod rocks but they dont have an FM radio, lame... f-kers

8) Plan A: Look for a girlfriend.... Plan B: on failure of above mentioned 'Plan A'; visit vietnam/some indonesian island/china to look for a bride in ten years time.

9) Finish books that i have started, some almost a year ago. I hope the bookmarks havent disintegrated or fossilized.

10) shit, there's one more? oh yes... of course, Get a job...


the effects of the tsunami were more far reaching than any of us imagined.

The disappearing A plus

To my delight i got an A+ for my assignment report! or what looks like a star, no wait.. its kind of smudgy.... hey wait a minute, there's a "+" hidden beneath the smudges of red ink. Looks kind of hasility taken away......... GIVE IT BACK TO ME!!!!

Shit load of food

"shit load of food" all FOR only TWO BUCKS! if u come to canteen B at around 7pm when all the shops are closing for the day!! essential for provding the nutrients needed for a whole nite of studying!! WHILE STOCKS LAST!!!!

PIAK

Abstract Exam art : Don't ask me what Piak is

Never gonna

When you buy something, ever thought about what goes on behind the scenes? (I'm not talking about how they do the dishes at a hawker centre.) I'm sure what you see is all cut and dried, packaged and presented to suit your tastes. Trendy, stylish... cool

I downloaded and watched this clip from HALL15 's website about how fur coats are made. What i saw deeply disturbed and saddened me TO THE CORE. The animals were bludgeoned and stripped of thier skin while still alive and kicking. I've never seen anything more evil than this.

For those who already own or intend to adourn themselves with furs, please watch this and tell me if you ever want to buy a fur coat again. For those who are curious, please watch this and tell me if there is even an ounce of right or goodness in this.

Cold Comfort

One last post before i leave the comforts and confines of my little room to this cold and unforgiving place to study.. the comfort is too much of a distraction