Monday, August 01, 2005

Morning Sickness

I felt sick yesterday morning.

Monday is such a wrong time to be waking up at 5am to go to work.. I call it the Ungodly hour, but when I have to be in by 7am I lan-lan(have no choice but to) drag myself out of bed.

I usually make a cup of milo and add a dash of fresh milk for my morning drink. But last Saturday my Mum bought some chocolate powder from Marks and Spencer, never tried it before... It says, add milk to three heaped teaspoons of powder. Great

One... two... three.. put in another scoup for good measure... Four... Add milk... Turned out very thick, nice, and cold.. Note: I usually just add a dash of milk to my milo, Now I have a whole cup full of Milk first thing in the morning... mistake

On the way to the bus stop I was super awake! And I mean super... like Midday awake.. like someone just shouted in your face awake. But when I sat on bus 74.. I knocked out on the seat, when I opened my eyes, the bus was turning left, past King Albert Park.. Alamak, overshot! So I got off the bus quickly and walked back...

As I reached the bus stop to transfer to the next bus, the MILK started to take effect, my tummy felt uneasy and I needed to crap... badly.. NINABEH.. not now! not when I am half an hour away from my office in the middle of NO-where.. I told myself I could tahan, I've had worse as I played out contingency plans in my head and scanned for possible shitting locations along the way. So I held it in, and the feeling went away as fast as it came. I also didnt give in to use the toilets at King Albert Park cos I didnt want to be late

So came the next bus that would complete my journey... the feeling was on and off. I dosed off, maybe the feeling will be gone. I almost overshot my stop again, if not for my friend who happened to see me sleeping... still okay now.

Went to the guardroom to draw my office key, hitched a ride on the mini bus which would take me to my office, which is a ten minute walk away. Once I got off the mini bus... THE CRAP FEELING all came rushing back to me!!! This was it man, the point of no return.. the bomb has been dropped, I made a beeline to the nearest toilet.. hastily undid my trousers and UNLOADED THE WHOLE STINKING PILE OF CRAP into the toilet bowl... AHHHhhhhhh... I was overcome with relief and a strong sense of satisfaction... I made it

The rest of the morning I was feeling a little nauseous and burping away, it was not just the sudden consumption of milk but I think it was also made worse by the lack of sleep (just 4 hours I had last night). I contemplated reporting sick to get the rest of the day off, but what was I going to tell the doctor? "Doc, I am too tired this morning, too tired to hold in my shit."

Thankfully, I felt better by late morning. Less milk next time

10 Comments:

At 10:18 AM, Blogger FeelingCouture said...

you ah...full of crap excuses! haha nways try the triple choc cereal fm M&S. It's worth the shite :)

 
At 9:30 PM, Blogger wen said...

Your entry totally threw me offguard. When did you start to talk like that?! But that was funny.. I would have taken a cab in that situation, don't want any "embarassing accident" on the bus.. Well, just glad I'm not there to take in the aroma..

 
At 5:53 AM, Blogger siyang said...

feelingcouture: wat excuses!!!?!? hahah ok if i come across it, but i will be careful not to take too much in the morning.. :p

wen: you havent heard me talk yet, heheh.... taxi expensive leh, I didnt even consider it that morning, come to think of it, taking a cab didnt even cross my mind..

 
At 6:39 AM, Blogger elfonse said...

Idler, idler... my friend have always been so full of shit.

 
At 7:00 AM, Blogger Draven said...

Maybe u should have a crap blog...detail the events of ur toilet bowl adventures in colourful language.
I for one found the narration movie script worthy :P

 
At 7:35 AM, Anonymous gi said...

KAKAKA!!!!
Very funny... i always like to read posts like this from u...
Ur true nature is unleashed (pun intended)
"UNLEASH THE FURY!!!!!"
(ala Tom Green in ROad Trip)

 
At 8:00 AM, Blogger siyang said...

elfonse: indeed..has been and always will be..

draven: this is a crap blog.. hehe anyway i dont think pple will like too much toilet humour

gi: Beware the FURY...

 
At 9:12 AM, Anonymous Siew Yin said...

^O^ LOL... you didn't mention about your crap filling to the brim and overflowing the TBowl.. or did you? hahah...

Anyway, I enjoyed reading yr funny and truthful post of the MONTH...

Was choking half way through.. dunno if it's the tears or my suppression of queasiness.

Well, glad that you are all right now. Thanks for sharing the crap side of you as always.. heheh.. :)

 
At 12:19 AM, Blogger Nebulaenova said...

Hwawhwahawha! Your comment on my post (you know which one!) really made my day. I laughed till tears roll down! Funny guy.

 
At 8:23 AM, Blogger siyang said...

siewyin: Im glad it brought you tears of some sort and queasiness.. I hope to do the same for u in future.. :p nope, no over flowing, not this time...

nebulaenova: Glad it... er made ur day.. no further comment.. haha :P

 

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